Published on February 3, 2006 By solos wife In Blogging
As I attempt to fall asleep, which I know will take me about 3 hours, I miss my husband. I miss his leg touching mine. It is a funny thing about married people, we can say alot with just a touch. I knew when he was mad....he leg wouldn't touch mine. Matter of fact, he wouldn't even hog up the bed.Only once have I felt his leg on mine since his death. But his touch...how I miss it. I miss him, I miss my best friend.

Sometimes, I am scared to go to sleep. I fear that I will dream of him. In the begining, I would dream he was alive, that his death was a mistake. In my dream, I would tell him, no sweetie, you are gone, I saw your body, we had a funeral, they gave me the money. He would argue, that it was a mistake, but that he wouldn't tell anyone, just we would know. When I woke up....oh my heart hurt so much, it was like going through that day all over again. Finally, I couldn't take the pain anymore. In my dream, I told him, he was dead and he needed to let me go and he did. For many months I wouldn't dream of him, I couldn't, I was scared. Then last night, he came to me in my dream. He wasn't alive, he was dead....but he talked to me and I talked to him. I told him about his funeral, the homecomings, the boys, ours and his squad, and of course his mother. The dream felt good. I got stuff off my chest and I had my best friend, at least in my dream.

So, to whoever reads this, enjoy a touch, a smell, a friendship, a love. I wish I had mine, but I do have memories....and they are so wonderful, I hope they fill my lifetime.

Comments
on Feb 03, 2006
This is absolutely beautiful.

I think sometimes we really take our loved ones for granted. We don't notice the details...the precious little bits that they add to our lives. Our loved ones are precious and we should remember to treasure every moment with them...the sweet moments, the sad moments, the moments of uncontrollable laughter...even the just plain weird moments. The feel of their legs against ours or the sound of the garage door opening as they come home at the end of the day.

Each day may be their (or our) last.

During my husband's deployment I had a dream that he died. I dreamed that he was shot in combat, but that he came back and I told him that he was dead. He said he wasn't, but I knew (in my dream) that he was. I woke up with my heart racing and feeling such loss and sadness. It really frightened me, especially since I tend to believe in intuition and give credence to my dreams. Thankfully, it was just a "worry" dream and not a premonition.

I'm glad that you had the chance to share with your husband in your dream. Sometimes they feel so real.

You're in my thoughts, sweetheart.
on Feb 03, 2006
Hopefully these great memories will never fade, but over time the pain will, and you'll eventually find someone new that you'll forge a similar relationship with. As Texas Wahine notes above, you've written a beautiful article for all to see and learn from. Hopefully everyone will.
on Feb 03, 2006

As Texas Wahine notes above, you've written a beautiful article for all to see and learn from. Hopefully everyone will.

Yes, I went to bed last night and hugged my wife. Thank you for reminding us what is important.

on Feb 03, 2006
Your article is very touching. I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand that feeling of being scared to see your loved one in dreams after they passed. I remember I felt the same way when my mom first died over a year ago. I was afraid to see her, I don't know why. Then afterwards after I fully accepted her death, that's when I stopped being afraid and I would dream of her. My most recent dream (after not 'seeing' her for a while now) was of me being excited to go meet her and upon arrival we hugged each other so tight and we were both so happy to see each other, it felt very real.

I can't imagine how hard it is for you but I do understand. I'm glad you had that dream, resolving that which you had to talk to him about. It's very cleansing isn't it? I hope you will continue to have good memories of your husband.
on May 01, 2006
I like what you do, continue this way.